Check this out and let me know what you think!

Moments ago someone I just found out existed told me to DM my mom, "Thanks," and now I'm anxious about humanity's future.

Hey! You look like the type of person that unretweets people the day after retweeting them. Psyche you’re cool. Anyway, I'm really happy to be here, and I want you to listen to this as it will help you on your way. See, success is all I care about, and I know a thing or two about success, for example today I passed a guy on a bike while I was jogging and then I grew wings, exited the atmosphere, and met God…

Tim, This guy on the elevator said he shits his pants every time Trump tweets about North Korea. I recommend wearing a kilt and going commando.

Tim, wassup with trying your best and getting shit results? I know right? That’s futhamuckin bullspit! Whatever the opposite of undefeated is, (defeated) that's what I am in comedy contests. Yes, and I am defeated in every comedy contest i've ever been in, but I think sooner or later my luck is gonna change. (Probably)

Remember in this life you've gotta do something, or make something happen because being broke as a joke ain't funny!

So listen to all of my stuff and come to my website all the time and I’ll let you into my inner world… Like yesterday, I put a scuba diving action figure in a urinal as a goof then went back later to check on it and it was covered in dookie! Ah sucky sucky now!!!

-Peace