by Tim Trueheart


   As an Artist/Entrepreneur this is a question I constantly ask myself. You have to always be reflecting on it because it’s actually always changing (like a lava lamp) and you’ve gotta keep up with it, or you could end up losing yourself. Yeah, let’s not do that, right? It’s definitely a good question because answering it requires critical thinking (you know that thing you were supposed to learn in “college”?) Whenever someone asks me I’m always like, “Um, let me get back to you on that.” Then I find the closest bathroom, climb out the window, drive home, lock my doors, and turn off my phone until sunrise. But seriously, you need time to think about that to really answering that question. Go somewhere and meditate on it and you should get an answer. It is important that you do answer it or else could end up lost like a tumbleweed,  jellyfish, or an Art major… Wait a minute, that’s me!

When you know who you are you will know who you aren’t and then you’ll be able to figure out where you fit into this whole thing we call existence/reality/insert third metaphysical themed phrase here.

Before you know who your target audience is you must first ask yourself, who am I? Who are you? Here, close your eyes and absorb this great song, it will help you on your way.

Cool tune huh? I hope that that jam by The Who helped you delve into yourself a lil bit.

    If you’re still having trouble then may I suggest a survey of my favorite musical artform, Gangsta Rap. What does rap music have to do with finding myself? Everything bitch, yes everything… and sorry about calling you a bitch, I didn’t mean it, I just get excited sometimes. I’m just a very passionate person.

    So, one of the key elements of rap is the rapper’s debut album, specifically their song about how dope they are. Oops, I meant how dope they is. Ah, that’s better. By the way, rappers didn’t invent the I’M SO AMAZING trope, I think it was actually The Medici, they’re Italians but I digress. Anyway, the rapper usually makes these extremely self-referential and aggrandising songs about how amazing they, their crew, and oftentimes the city they “represent” is, and this let’s you know their; Who, What, Where, When, Why, and how. You need this to succeed. See how I didn’t call you a bitch right there, nice right?

    Okay, your assignment is to write your own song about you, your art, or whatever your business in the style of your favorite futhamuckin gangsta rapper. I know you’re freaking out already and you’re not wearing your shitting pants either. Don’t worry, here are some examples bitch.  

Dancehall Reggae also has examples of this, but you don’t have to take my word for it.

He's not my dad... is he?

He's not my dad... is he?

    Seriously this is all Beenie Man does. He talks about his dick and how much the girls love it, and it works! He’s the girls dem sugar that’s all, if you didn’t catch that on any one of those boss tracks I feel sorry for your mother.  

   PRO-TIP: Use popular instrumentals from existing rap songs if you need help. Also don’t skimp on the explicit content and profanity, you’re writing the song about how amazing you are and how whack them other weak dick futhamuckas are, so show no mercy! Remember, you’re Good, now be GREAT!



PS: You’re not really a bitch, I’m just playing, and I love you.